


Halfway There

by Cones_McMurphy



Category: Big Time Rush (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family Issues, Gen, What else is new, anyways I projected some stuff onto characters from a childrens' show, bad and abusive tbqh, because where the HELL is his and katie's dad???, forgot to rate this at first rip, rated G but there’s a couple swear words, the band is a family, there's a small reference to James's mom because she was uhhhhh, this is kendall/jo but it's mostly about kendall's daddy issues, title obviously from the song but there's a different meaning behind it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25368097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cones_McMurphy/pseuds/Cones_McMurphy
Summary: “How come your dad didn’t move out to Los Angeles with the rest of your family?”Kendall’s stomach dropped. He didn’t like talking about his father. Actually, no. That’s an understatement. He hated it.
Relationships: James Diamond & Carlos Garcia & Katie Knight & Kendall Knight & Logan Mitchell, Kendall Knight/Jo Taylor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	Halfway There

Warm summer sun beat down on the Palmwoods pool, which meant that the pool had more kids in it than water. Kendall would’ve liked a swim, but it wasn’t worth it anymore. Besides, he had a pink smoothie and his MP3 player, and Jo was sitting next to him reading the newest New Town High script. He had everything he needed for a nice, peaceful afternoon. 

And then Jo opened her mouth. “Hey, Kendall?” 

“Yes, dear?” He asked cheekily, before taking a sip of his smoothie. 

She rolled her eyes, but didn’t dignify his snark with a response. “Can I ask you a personal question?” 

“Uh,” Kendall raised an eyebrow. “I guess?” It wasn’t like he had anything to hide from her. 

“How come your dad didn’t move out to Los Angeles with the rest of your family?” 

Kendall’s stomach dropped. He didn’t like talking about his father. Actually, no. That’s an understatement. He hated it. He’d managed to avoid the subject of his father with pretty much every kid at the Palmwoods, but he’d especially tried hard to avoid it with Jo. Jo had a perfect family, with two parents who loved her, and no divorce. There was no way she would understand. 

“Um. What, uh. Why do you ask?” 

Jo shrugged. “I was just reading this scene that my character has with her dad, and I realized that I don’t know anything about yours.” 

Kendall nodded. “Right. Well,” He took a deep breath. “He just couldn’t leave his job back in Minnesota, but we talk every week.” It was a huge,  _ massive _ lie. But it was all he could think to say. He just couldn’t tell her the truth. 

“Oh,” Jo turned back to her script. “Makes sense, I guess.” 

Kendall breathed a sigh of relief, leaned back in his lounge, and closed his eyes.

* * *

Kendall did his best to forget about lying to Jo, but the guilt was eating him alive, and he knew he was doing a bad job of hiding how off he felt. He almost came clean a couple times, but the words died in his throat under a sudden wave of panic. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t do it. 

So, he started avoiding her. Not all the time. Just a little bit. Just enough. 

Which meant that instead of sitting down by the pool with Jo, like he normally would on his day off, he was sitting on the couch in the crib. Alone. He huffed a sigh and turned on the TV. He could try to make the most of things, at least. 

And then the door slammed open. It was James, with some random girl hanging all over him, peppering his face and neck with kisses. 

Perfect. 

“Oh, hey, Kendall…” James hesitated. “Shouldn’t you be at the pool with Jo?” 

“Not today.” Kendall flipped the channel. 

“Okay, well, I’m kind of trying to show Melanie--” 

“Melissa.” 

“Melissa here, a nice time. So…” 

Kendall rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll be in my room.” He turned off the TV and headed towards the hall, when James’s voice stopped him. “Jerk.” 

“Sorry you and Jo are fighting or whatever, but that’s not my fault.” 

“We’re not fighting,” Kendal stopped in his tracks. “She asked me why dad didn’t move out to Los Angeles with us.” 

James’s irritation faded instantly. “Oh.” 

“I lied to her. Told her he just couldn’t leave his job.” 

" _ Oh. _ ” James turned to Melissa. “I think you should go now.” 

“What? But--” 

“I’ll call you later, okay?” James pushed her towards the door. 

She scoffed. “Whatever.” 

As soon as the door closed behind her, James turned back to Kendall. “So, you’re avoiding her because you feel bad about lying?” 

“Yeah.” 

“But you can’t bring yourself to tell her the truth that your father abandoned you?" 

Kendall sighed and walked back over to the couch. “I just...You know how it was growing up. I was the only kid with divorced parents, and everyone was always asking why I didn't have a dad and when Jo asked me, it took me right back there.” 

“Okay, I get that,” James conceded. “I feel the same way when people ask about my mom, and why it's so hard to say no to her. But you know Jo isn’t a dumb ten year old, right? She’s not gonna make fun of you because your dad walked out.” 

“But she might see me differently,” Kendall said softly. “I mean, right now, I’m fun and, I don’t know, cool? I don’t want to be the guy who had to get a job at the grocery store to afford his hockey gear because his single mom didn’t make enough working as a waitress. I don’t...I don’t want to be the kid who wasn’t enough to make his dad stay.” 

“Kendall, I love you, but that’s stupid as hell.” That wasn’t James’s voice, it was Logan, who was standing in the doorway, Carlos in tow, apparently back from his date with Camille. “Sorry, James texted me.” 

“You guys don’t have to drop your social lives just because of me,” Kendall shook his head. “Go back and be with Camille.” 

“No offense, but we’re best friends.” James shook his head. “You’re always there for us. Let us be there for you, for once.” 

“Fine.” Kendall conceded, and looked at Logan. “Why are my fears ‘stupid as hell’?” 

“Because if Jo finds out that your dad bailed, and that you had to work to help your mom, she’s not going to think less of you. She’s going to think, ‘wow, that boy is so hard working’ and ‘no wonder he wanted to get a hockey scholarship’ and ‘Mama Knight is such a strong and incredible woman’ and ‘kendall’s dad sucks.’” 

Kendall scoffed. “How do you know that?” 

“Because that’s what we think,” Carlos said gently. “And Jo is going to see what we see, because she cares about you. She likes you for  _ you _ , not because she thinks you’re cool and don’t have any baggage.” 

“Listen to us,” James said. “Logan  _ is  _ the smart one, after all.” 

“Maybe you’re right.” Kendall admitted. 

“I always am,” Logan replied. “Someone has to be.” 

* * *

**Message Sent:** Hey, wanna meet me in the park? 

**New Message From Jo:** It’s almost 10 PM 

**Message Sent:** please? 

**Message Sent:** I promise it’s important

**New Message From Jo:** give me ten minutes 

Kendall paced the length of the Palmwoods Park. He decided it would be best to tell Jo alone, some place quiet. And Palmwoods Park had always been their spot. It just seemed like the right place for what would definitely be an emotional conversation. He leaned back against a tree and waited. True to her word, Jo was there within ten minutes. She looked tired. 

“Hey,” she greeted, with a half hearted wave. 

“Hey.” He tried to smile at her, but he knew it probably came off forced. 

“So…” Jo crossed her arms, but whether she did it out of annoyance or simply from the chill in the air, Kendall couldn’t tell you. “What was so important you dragged me out here at ten o’clock at night?” 

“Right.” Kendall took a deep breath. “So, I kind of...lied to you.” 

“Kind of?” 

“Okay, I definitely lied to you,” Kendall admitted. “When you asked about my dad, and why he didn’t move to Los Angeles with us.” 

Jo nodded, but didn’t speak. She simply waited for Kendall to explain himself. 

“I just, I panicked. Because the truth, it’s not easy. It’s messy, and painful.” Kendall swallowed hard. “I just didn’t want you to think differently of me.” 

Jo sighed. “I’m not mad at you, but I really wish you would tell me the truth.” 

“I am. That’s why I wanted to meet you here.” He exhaled deeply. “Just know that you’re going to be the first person I’ve told since coming to L.A.” 

Once again, she didn’t respond, instead looking up at him expectantly. 

“My dad left when I was six years old.” He paused to meet her eye, she looked shaken. “Katie was just a baby. We haven’t heard from him since.” 

“Kendall, I…” Jo took a step forward towards him, reaching out with one hand. 

“Please, don’t pity me.” He stopped her with a shake of his head. 

“Is that what you were afraid of? Pity?” 

“That and,” He bit his lip. “When I was a kid, I was the only one who had divorced parents. Everyone wanted to know where my dad was. They would tease me for it, make up reasons why my dad didn’t want me.” 

“Kendall--” 

“I know you wouldn’t say those things, but when you asked it took me right back there, and to later on, when I had the cheapest, worst quality hockey gear on the team because I had to buy it with my own money. I mean, my mom was a  _ waitress _ .” 

“Right, of course.” She sighed. “I understand Kendall, and I’m not mad or hurt that you lied. But I hope you know I’d never think less of you because your dad is a deadbeat who abandoned his family. If anything, I think more of you. It takes so much strength to go through something like that and come out on the other side even a little bit okay.” She put a hand on his cheek, and this time he didn’t stop her. 

He leaned into her touch. “I’m sorry I lied.” 

“It’s okay,” she moved her thumb slowly and gently across his cheek. “I understand why you were scared. But you can tell me anything.” 

Kendall nodded. “I know, I think I just forgot how great you are.” 

“Well, you better not forget again.” Jo smirked and dropped her hand. 

He rolled his eyes. “I won’t.” 

“Good.” There was a pause, and then Jo spoke again. “Y’know, this explains a lot, actually.” 

“It does?” 

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “It explains why Katie is always scheming for extra cash, and why your big dream was to win a scholarship, and why you’re so close with the other guys; they’re your family, and you’ve lost enough family already.” 

“I--” Kendall sighed. “Yeah, that’s all true. Even that super mushy part at the end.” 

Jo laughed. “Don’t pretend like you’re not mushy, babe.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Hey, I said it was true, didn’t I?” 

“Fair.” 

There was a comfortable silence, and for the first time in days, Kendall felt like he could breathe again. He’d told Jo the truth, and she was still here. “You wanna know the really crazy part about all this?” 

“I want to know everything.” 

“Now who’s the mushy one?” 

“We can both be mushy.” Jo rolled her eyes. “Now tell me.” 

Kendall sighed. “My dad doesn’t live in Minnesota anymore. He, uh,” he swallowed hard, “He actually lives right here in Los Angeles.” 

Jo was silent for a moment. “He  _ what _ ?” 

Kendall nodded. “Katie found him on Facebook. Apparently he’s got a new fiance.” 

Jo blew out a long breath. “Wow. That’s. Wow.” 

“Pretty much.” 

“Do you think you’ll reach out to him ever?” She prodded, somewhat hesitantly. “I mean, since you’re in the same city and all…” 

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I still have so much anger towards him. And it’s not like he’s ever reached out to me. I mean, the only reason I know anything about his life is because Katie stalked him on Facebook.” 

“That makes sense,” she nodded, and took his hand in hers. “But I want you to know that if you ever do decide to reach out, that I’ll be there for you.” 

Kendall smiled, really smiled, for the first time in days. “Thanks, Jo. That means a lot.” 

“Should we head to bed?” Jo asked, turning back towards the Palmwoods, but not dropping his hand. “It’s getting late.” 

“Yeah, right.” Kendall let himself be pulled along until they got to his apartment door. 

Jo smiled sweetly. “Thank you for confiding in me tonight.” 

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Thank you for listening.” And then, while he was still inches from her face, the words tumbled out of his mouth. “I love you.” 

Jo blinked twice before responding. “You love me?” 

“Uh.” Kendall swallowed, suddenly nervous.  _ Why did I say that?  _ “Yeah.” 

She smiled, and then pulled him down into a real kiss. It wasn’t too heated, but it was comforting and warm, and left Kendall slightly breathless. “I love you, too.” 

“Oh. Well.” Kendall cleared his throat. “That’s good.” 

Jo chuckled. “You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m  _ your _ idiot.” He grinned. 

“Oh my God,” she shook her head. “I’m going to my apartment now.” She turned and headed down the hallway. 

“Goodnight, then.” Kendall called after her. 

She stopped and looked back over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Kendall.” 


End file.
